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Posted in Thinking Aloud | 7 comments

Communication Ruining Relationships!

Some of us are lucky to have been through the time when ‘love letters’ were still quite popular. Remember how we (those coming from the 1980s or before) still associate love letters to something utterly romantic and an envelope full of excitement and happiness?

Not just in romantic relationships but even among friends and family, letters and cards held such an important place in our lives. It definitely did in my life. I still have a bag full of cards – some creatively handmade, others bearing an Archies or Hallmark stamp – all equally meaningful, ‘handpicked’ by someone who meant to say exactly what’s written in them. They were something to look forward to, to save, to treasure and for the keeps.

Another good thing about those ‘tools of emotions’ was that it made you put in thoughts into those little gestures of love and affection. While writing a letter, one immerses in the emotions and pours the heart out. It used to be such a good way of understanding oneself too.

Think about it, getting a letter from dad would be a handwritten collection of wisdom, life advice and love. Now he just calls me before sleeping and we barely exchange any meaningful conversation. 

With the telecom boom, we slowly drifted from the habit of writing to calling. It gave us the freedom to stay connected at all times. Work became easier, communication faster. Relationships matured sooner. A long distance relationship that survived on letters could do away with waiting and eagerness of hearing from the lover. Life was good and less complicated, or not! Enter texting and Gtalking!

I think most new romantic relationships that exist today began with the word ‘Watsup’ over a digital medium. 

Exchanging numbers has become the stepping stone to every budding romance, Gtalking only takes it a step further! Remember the time when you exchanged msgs with that special someone all night and it became real awkward when you actually met them for a date? That. I have someone in my life who I never met because we spoke so much online that it just became too weird to actually meet! True story.

So many trivial digital relationships became more like our online flings and late night text buddies. We never really met but we ‘spoke’ our hearts out! I think it was mainly because life became so complex that we needed to vent out to someone who knew nothing about our lives, and so we could be what we wanted to be, at least virtually.

As if that was not enough, we installed the WhatsApp bug on our phones. Of course it allows me to keep in touch with friends every hour, exchange latest gossip in real time, send and receive photos as and when, group chat for an instant laugh. Even important advice and counselling is done on WhatsApp. But think about it! WHAT THE HELL. I haven’t spoken to my friend in 6 weeks and I know what drink she had last night and which nail polish she bought and ofcourse I know how she looked in that LBD!

It sucks for romantic relationships too. Imagine knowing everything he/she did the entire day and at what time. Then what do you talk on the phone about? Is the communication distancing the two or bringing  them closer? It is often tormenting to see who he/she is socializing with on Facebook/Twitter the whole day – You don’t want to miss a single virtual update from your love interest.

I think it only adds stress and almost becomes an obsession, you know. One needs to understand where to draw the line, how much is too much and step back before communication becomes detrimental to the relationship.

PS: This is a parallel post to my most awesome friend Urvashi’s post on the same subject. We thought it would be fun to pen down our thoughts on it and blurt on our respective blogs. You can read her post (which is a lot funnier than this one) at Communication Breakdown


  1. Loved it… 🙂
    I shall chat with you lesser now 😛

    • Thanks for the link and for liking the post! Enjoyed reading your piece as well 🙂

  2. Over – communication kills it, agreed. But, A.) Can you survive with any lesser in this age of communication And B.) Little communication also had its cons. Will tell you about it later 🙂

    • Remember I deleted WhatsApp for a while ..And you asked me why? Well.. 🙂 A) I survived without it. B) In today’s scenario, lesser communication (and not little) would help 🙂

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