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Posted in Thinking Aloud | 7 comments

Must You Be So Judgmental?

Have you ever had someone tell you, “Don’t judge me, but…”. Well, you probably judged the person the moment they said that, even before you heard exactly what moral crime they had committed and seeking your mercy to let them scot free of your judgment.


In a case like above, you obviously judged the person or his/her actions consciously. But don’t we all pass judgment on everything (and everyone)? We all have a battalion of moral police in our heads and even as we pretend to be indifferent to certain people, we judge them.I mean I have judged people for their actions without thinking the whys and why-nots of the situation that person might be in. And later found myself in a similar situation only to understand their reasons, which makes me appreciate the very same actions later. And why not! (Can’t judge myself, you see)

But think of the times we judge people for things that should NOT concern us. “She is too good for him. She can do much better.” Who are we to conclude that? I feel very disheartened when people make statements like, “Did you see his new bride? She is not so pretty.” How bad is that! You are not just judging someone’s physical attributes but also showing the world how naked you are. Isn’t judging someone for their physical features or personal life as bad as passing racist remarks?


It’s hard, this business of being non judgmental. While I was growing up (referring to my years in school), I used to read everything that I could lay my hands on, especially if it was philosophical. While I read ‘The Seven Spiritual Laws Of Success‘ by Deepak Chopra very early on, I have forgotten most of it now. The only thing which remained with me all these years is that he suggests that we practice being ‘non judgmental’ for at least one day every week. I thought, “What’s the big deal?!” until I tried implementing it and realized how big a deal it is to not judge.


Being judgmental essentially means evaluating situations and actions as right or wrong, good or bad, ugly or beautiful. We can rant about the rights and wrongs that the government, society, teachers, students, communities, siblings, parents, spouses, et al are doing to us. We can also shamelessly discuss how much weight a celebrity has put on after having a baby or how bad their dressing sense is! But have you ever thought why you are always on the right (and reasonable) side and the other party on the wrong one? May be because you don’t judge yourself like you judge others. Think about it.


But can we give ourselves a break from being “Me Lord”? A day without passing any judgment can be a journey that we all must make once in a while.


I agree with what Chopra says in the book, passing judgment takes away energy that can help us realize our true potential. The logic is that when you are evaluating, criticizing and measuring up things, you are creating an internal chaos that prevents the free flow of positive energy. And the best way to keep from judging is to believe that each time you judge someone else, you will be judged too. The world, as they say, is in an equilibrium and every thing has to be balanced, out that’s the law! Can you do something about it?


So take off your judging robe, I say. And if you succeed, tell me how!


Excerpt of this post was published in Life 365 on 3rd December 2013.



  1. Have you heard of people who make others’ business their own and not only judge, but also condemn and convict them of sins and crimes. That was a wonderful way to be — non-judgmental but we do it without even being conscious of doing it, which is what makes it very hard to control. And most of the time, we mentally judge people merrily 🙂 I will certainly try to be non-judgmental for a day!

    • There are many who would judge others without thinking. It’s hard to find friends we can be ourselves with and share everything without the fear of being judged. And we all know how comforting it is to be in company of those who let us be ourselves!

      I am glad I have a few of those!

  2. Swati where have you been all this time?No no i am not judging you-only missed you because i like your posts.

  3. I find this pretty interesting. It is not easy. Our subconscious mind creates an impression and we act on the basis of it.

    • It’s not easy.. But worth an attempt, we might get somewhere close to it 🙂

  4. Being non-judgemental means to never make assumptions and consciously stopping yourself from making statements that discredit a persons actions or decisions without. fully understanding the reasoning behind them. it is very hard to practice being non-judgemental, and swati, hats off to you for being so thoughtful at such a young age.

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