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Posted in Thinking Aloud | 1 comment

The ‘I told you so’ Syndrome

How many times have you heard someone tell you, 
“I already told you so!”
“That’s exactly what I told you! You never listen to me.”
“I am the only one who said that. Everyone else thought otherwise (and were proved wrong.)”
Chances are that you hear these statements, or those that mean something similar, all the time! And how we hate to have these thrown at us, don’t we? Who likes to be told that they were wrong! 
But it’s only fair that someone would tell you that, because, like others, you make these statements too. In fact, in various meetings, discussions or general conversations, you look for opportunities to prove your superiority over others by saying something to the effect of: “I told you so.”
Isn’t it funny? Nobody likes being told that they were wrong and someone else was right but everybody likes to tell others that they were right and others wrong? 
So what is this mad-race to prove oneself right over everybody else? 
Isn’t this is ego in its most basic form? Trying to enlarge your self-image and even imposing it on others, that’s sheer ego. Getting irritated/pissed when your are proved wrong and someone else right – that’s ego too. Not stepping down and ‘fighting’ to ensure that your opinion is agreed upon, yes – ego again!
Look at it the other way now – Knowing that you were right about something and someone else was wrong, gives you a sense of pride.It boosts your self-image, it nurtures your ago, it even gives birth to anger or the power to be angry. 
Ultimately, it’s not good for any relationship that you have. 
I have made attempts to talk to others about this phenomena where people are always trying to prove themselves superior over others. Invariably, these people have agreed with my inkling and have concluded it by saying, 
“I never do that, you know!”
It’s funny how they say it in a way to prove that they are superior over others in this domain too, but proves my point!
The amount of times you say ‘I’ in a conversation is the amount of ego you are nurturing in yourself.
And what good is ego in life?
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The first step towards spirituality is to shed the ego – by understanding the difference between the soul and your physical self. The more you talk about ‘I’, the more you are putting your physical self above your soul because craving for name, fame, superiority is the doing of your physical self and not your soul. 
When you realize that you were right and someone else was wrong, do not specifically mention that by saying, “I told you so.” It will have a very calming effect on you and other person. This will not only bring a balance in your relationship but will also make the other person respect you and value your opinions more in future. Not that it should matter when you walk on the path to shed the ego.
Try it for a day – not giving too much importance to ‘I’ and not trying to establish your superiority over others.You will notice that soon life will stop being a race to ‘win’ but a journey that let’s you be relaxed (and humble). 

1 Comment

  1. No comments yet? I guess it proves you right. Didn’t I always tell you that you can put things in their proper perspective? 😀 😀

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